A Radical Fool

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I don’t care what my heart might do,

These eyes may weep,

My knees only weakening

All for love and love for all

I surrender my life to living radical,

Pouring my heart unto my dreams, my passions

To see them healed

To encourage the bitter to forgive

To experience brokenness healed

To hear the silenced and scared woman sing her heart out

I do not care if I’m called a fool

I’m wasting it all on the hearts of men

Because that is what Man did for me.

I smoke the green,

Drank the red,

Choked my stomach from being fed.

Slit my thighs,

Hid until the night

Even then, beneath a hood,

Burdened by abuses,

A victim and nonetheless

I ignored Him, I ignored friends who believed in Him

He didn’t leave me

I let them use my body, I felt numb anyway

“Use me! Its all the world will do! Use me!

To fill your void of loneliness and conviction; invite me to smoke with you!

To assure you feel powerful and beautiful, have sex with me!

To be heard and not listen, throw my words to concrete, I’m here!

You tare me down, people. I give my life to understand you. I try. You abuse me.”

Said I

Said He to me

Called a fool for loving His Sons and Daughters beyond what we may have experienced love to measure,

Abused His grace, mocked His name,

Spit on the cross,

There we were put to shame

Love of God,

Permeate all my soul

I don’t care what my heart might do,

These eyes may weep,

My knees only weakening

All for love and love for all

I surrender my life to living radical,

Pouring my heart unto my dreams, my passions

To see them healed

To encourage the bitter to forgive

To experience brokenness healed

To hear the silenced and scared woman sing her heart out

I do not care if I’m called a fool

Tell me that I look like my Father,

If I resemble His heart,

live as He did,

I am quite satisfied.

For the love of God saved me in my darkest time. 

I could be dealing, inhaling, spending for drugs

I could be a prostitute on your main streets

I could be taking drug after drug to treat my anorexia, suicidal thoughts and depression

I could decide I’m a lesbian because guys never proved themselves lovely and adoring

I could be…

But Praise God,

I am not.

I am a radical fool.

 

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